The Art Of Coming Off Casual

Episode 67 with Karen Kilgariff and April Richardson!

Mon, 06 May 2013 14:29:31 -0700

The highest compliment I’ve ever received around the :45 minute mark.

Mr. Show’s Karen Kilgariff and Chelsea Lately’s April Richardson both performed at last week’s Bridgetown Comedy Festival, and they also happened to be in attendance for the debacle that was the Serafinowicz/Gallagher episode. They join Andy for a debrief and therapy session, while also discussing speedier space travel, harmful hookahs, Huey Lewis and, of course, cheesy potatoes.

http://probablyscience.libsyn.com/episode-067-karen-kilgariff-and-april-richardson

Episode 005 with Paul Danke, "Screech's Woman"

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 12:45:40 -0800

gobayside:

Paul and I watch the one where Zack dresses up like a woman in order to be Screech’s fake girlfriend so Screech will stop being depressed and start working on their science project.

http://gobayside.libsyn.com/episode-005-screech-s-woman-with-paul-danke

(Subscribe on iTunes)

I had a lot of fun doing this - April is a ral charmer subscribe to this hilarious shit.

Photo

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 12:36:20 -0800

THE COMEDY GARAGE: YoThe Comedy Garage is changing the format of the show. ALL DROP-INS!...

Wed, 16 Jan 2013 11:37:32 -0800

THE COMEDY GARAGE: YoThe Comedy Garage is changing the format of the show. ALL DROP-INS!...:

thecomedygarage:

Yo
The Comedy Garage is changing the format of the show. ALL DROP-INS! We’re not booking ANYONE! The Comedy Garage has a long history of great shows and great comedians, (see: The Comedy Garage Doc on Hulu) now we hope to continue that tradition with our show’s new format. TCG* has…

This is a fucking sexy idea.

thecomedygarage: Comedy Garage This Week! Don’t fuck...

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 15:35:36 -0800

thecomedygarage:

Comedy Garage This Week!

Don’t fuck with us - but come to this.

Partysaurus Rex

Wed, 10 Oct 2012 14:08:00 -0700

pauljay:

Do you like Toy Story? Do you like to party? WELL DO YOU

http://video.disney.com/watch/partysaurus-rex-4cb5aeaed8df6adddc0f952d

this video is totes adorbs.

funnyordie: FOD Classic: Havin’ a Summah with Zooey...

Thu, 05 Jul 2012 13:44:22 -0700

funnyordie:

FOD Classic: Havin’ a Summah with Zooey Deschanel

It’s hot out there this summah!

Best gif in a minute corn-l-train: siq

Sun, 24 Jun 2012 11:58:55 -0700

Best gif in a minute

corn-l-train:

siq

dangerrooster: Every.body.put.your.hands.to.fucking.gether for...

Sun, 10 Jun 2012 14:01:51 -0700

dangerrooster:

Every.body.put.your.hands.to.fucking.gether for Mr. Paul Danke (@PaulDanke). As far as the coolest submitted pieces go, you are the Gold Medal Winner. Over the course of a man’s life, he encounters many a strange circumstance.

We here at Danger Rooster appreciate the vibrant display recounting your encounter with the Acid Space Weasel.

In fact, we loved it so much, we just had to share what it looked like with inverted colors!

Submitted at Cookie Pie Hune 7, 2012. —Enjoy!!

I kid you not, Amish dudes playing ping pong. (Taken with...

Tue, 15 May 2012 15:09:46 -0700

I kid you not, Amish dudes playing ping pong. (Taken with instagram)

Taken with instagram

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 16:49:47 -0700

Taken with instagram

thecomedygarage: Here’s the flier for our March show! Come out...

Sun, 25 Mar 2012 15:31:57 -0700

thecomedygarage:

Here’s the flier for our March show!

Come out to the new spot, gwon be wiiiiiiiilddddd kidddddd

The Art Of Coming Off Casual: Getting Thrown In A Pool, and Being Cool With It

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 17:55:46 -0700

Summah time. Vibing.

Pool-partying. Skin flashing

Hijinks will happen.

So you got tossed in the pool? So fucking what?! You’re at a pool party lady, what did you expect? You thought you were going to roll up in this piece wearing some thin white capris with loud panties SCREAMING through the seat of your pants. Get out of town bub; you’re asking too much. You HAD to go in the pool. Look, pool parties are uncomfortable situations, for everybody (well except for people with abs and who gives a shit about those people anyway); we’re all exposing ourselves to one another in varying degrees, really letting it hang out there you know? It’s stressful. People spray on suntan lotion, hoping to mask their skin like some kind of a Jimmy Buffett Emperor’s New Clothes situation. Sad stuff no? But ultimately, there’s really only a moment of reckoning and everyone moves on. It’s liberating, and as always, this is a fucking excellent icebreaker, being semi-nude really helps people loosen up. Oh but wait! Just when everyone has more or less accepted the honesty of the moment, your dipshit ass shows up and you want to look all cool and chic?! Well you don’t, you look like an asshole. Fuck you and your loud underwear, which by the way we already could see through your pants, so don’t front like you’re embarrassed when you go in the pool. You knew what you were doing the whole time. You’re getting tossed in the pool

Oh but now YOU’RE mad?!!? You’re the one who showed up improperly dressed for the party. Crack an etiquette book little momma, and it’s not like we didn’t pilfer your pockets and pick your celly and wallet out. We’re not ANIMALS! Here’s the deal, everyone wants to “be cool” nobody wants to be cool. BE COOL ABOUT THIS! What’re you gonna do? We’re all supposed to be able to laugh at ourselves, it’s up to you to make this a big deal. Aaaaaaand it’s not a big deal, you’re wet now, you’ll be dry later. PLUS, you were a part of one of the biggest moments of the party. Get over yourself lady, have a beer, smoke something and throw the next weirdo who shows up wearing white pants into that fucking pool.

Photo: Shannon Hatch @cheezitslut being thrown in the pool by Nick Rutherford, who was just thrown in the pool himself. This was not written about Shannon, she’s excellent and was totally cool about going in the pool. Photo by Mike Burns @Toiletwine

Follow me on twitter @pauldanke

I’m on this show, not as much as water guns apparently,...

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 11:06:01 -0700

I’m on this show, not as much as water guns apparently, but still. I’m on it. Come.

haveasummah:

Check out the Summah-tastic poster for Summahfest 2! Thanks to Dave Kloc!

The Art Of Coming Off Casual: Letting Your Neighbors...

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 16:22:35 -0700

The Art Of Coming Off Casual: Letting Your Neighbors Party

Let your neighbors party. I’ll say it again: let your neighbors party. I know I know, if this is about the art of coming off casual, shouldn’t you be AT the party?! Well um yeah, probably, but coming off casual isn’t about being a party animal (though it often comes with the territory you rascal.) The truth is, you can’t be at every party, and with summer nearly upon us, there are going to be a lot of parties. Expect it, prepare for it, AND DON’T YOU DARE CALL THE COPS!

This past weekend was Memorial Day weekend, a day for celebrating our troops the way they’d want, by getting dangerously drunk in a pool at a buddy’s house while slamming Mexican and Jamaican beers (I mean fuck it, Budweiser isn’t even an American company anymore.) and listening to stone cold gangster rap. Tradition be damned we’re celebrating the multi-cultural tendencies of this pretty great nation. How can you not support that? By being a dick about it like my buddy’s neighbor and alerting the landlord to the party and having it cancelled before it even started.

We’ve all been there, on autopilot rounding the final corner to your home, near salivating over that glorious couch with it’s perfectly formed buttock indentations that you perfected with your perfectly weird shaped buns, when all of the sudden, you realize, “Well holy shit there are a lot of cars on the street,” and as you hop out the car, “OH SHIT NO!” Stop. Count to ten. Why are you upset anyway huh bub? Does that party remind you of your youth when YOU used to party? Maybe it reminds you that YOU weren’t invited to the party (or were too damn good to go)? Maybe they’re partying in a different language and you find it both confusing and frightening; how about instead of calling the cops, call Rosetta Stone and learn some Spanish or whatever the case may be and EMBRACE ANOTHER CULTURE AS YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS. Also the food! My goodness this will only benefit you. Or you know what, maybe you’re upset because subconsciously you hate yourself for being a pawn in the failure that is the suburbanization of our once great nation; gone is the bond that congealed Americans whether they be legal or illegal, as a society - gathering together and getting drunk in a backyard. Or maybe you’re just lame. Probably that one.

Now I’m not defending the party assholes that want to go at it every weekend. I respect a person’s right to life, liberty and the parachute of happiness but for the most part, you have got to lighten up – let them let it all hang out. Every house should be allowed at least one serious party once a month during the summer, with an option to three daytime shindigs. And of course limitless casual evening hot tub sessions. No cockblocking, it’s un-American. These are now the rules, abide. Let your neighbors party, after all, your neighbor might be me.

fuck einla: word.

Tue, 10 May 2011 14:26:49 -0700

fuck

einla:

word.

I’m pretty sure at the time I was telling Usher that his...

Mon, 11 Apr 2011 09:14:39 -0700

I’m pretty sure at the time I was telling Usher that his abs were “typical”

liezlwashere:

UCB-LA | The Roast of Justin Bieber | 04.02.11

Paul Danke roasts some Bieber.

The Art Of Coming Off Casual: cut off jean shorts Well gang...

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 16:38:00 -0700

The Art Of Coming Off Casual: cut off jean shorts

Well gang spring is almost here, the birds are chirping, grass is getting cut, basically all kinds of bullshit is waking me up before 10:30, whatareyougonnado? You get up, curse the day and put on your pants one leg at a time – but wait just a damned second. Isn’t it a little hot for pants? Are you not unemployed? Are you not a person seeking nay DEMANDING a casual clothing situation? Who are you showing off for anyway hotshot? From Tom Sawyer to Angus Young to Daisy Duke, shorts are undeniable everyone wears ‘em, well, except I remember this one episode of The Sopranos where Carmine Lupertazzi criticizes Tony Soprano saying, “Don’s don’t wear shorts,” but that old piece of shit died on a golf course eating egg salad*, so fuck him. Time to rock some – CUT OFF JEAN SHORTS.

Cut off jean shorts or cutoffs or (scoff) jorts send a sartorially independent message, they’re your way of saying, “Hell yeah it’s hot out, but I’m broke baby!” In this economy let’s face it, we’re all trying to save a couple bucks, all of us, literally all of us are broke. So let’s own it, let’s call it broke-chic and let some other asshole blog pick it up and run with it, blow up the whole damned thing. Make it tres elegant! Oh and by the by, to hell with this merry-go-round of shorts-trends, fifty-five dollars for shorts? Go fuck yourself shorts industry! (Macy’s, Tilly’s, any retail outlet with an apostrophe in it.) But beyond the financial benefits, think of the quality craft time you can squeeze in!

Do you have a hobby? Of course not, the only hobby anyone has anymore is jacking it to old school hip-hop videos (just me?). Cut off shorts are something you can make yourself, show a little pride in your work. It’s this type of ingenuity that once made America great. USA! USA! But don’t you go buying these things in a store! I swear to you I will track you down like an animal and destroy you, and don’t give me that, “stimulating the economy,” shit either. No. Nothing is less laid back than spending money TRYING to look like you’re broke. Fucking poser, piss off. No thank you. AND DO NOT LET ME CATCH YOU WITH HEMMED CUT OFFS EITHER! Sorry I got worked up, but hey, what about the stunning visual aesthetic of cut off jean shorts? That should be considered too!

The elegant fringes blowing in the breeze, the delicate tickling of your leg hairs, the easy-sexiness of the broken in dungarees holding your ass; the threadbare seat is like a denim-Nostradamus saying, “Stick around long enough, stare hard enough and one day a little slice of that ass-cheek is gonna pop out them jeans.” You don’t want to miss that! On top of that there’s a lack of pretension to wearing shorts that you made yourself, maybe one leg is cut a little longer than the other, or the cut is uneven around the leg, (that shit is impossible to get right) fuck it, all this is saying is, “hey I’m a regular person, I eat microwave dinners, I like Leonardo Dicaprio movies and I use protection MOST of the time.” And hey, most of the time is still pretty damned good.

Jeans are an American tradition, and what could make them MORE American than some Mickey Mouse alteration job, we live for this shit! Celebrate that which is homemade, that which is worn, like Old Glory herself, tattered and battled but ever-present, unwavering … the cut off jean short.

*Egg salad is delicious, no disrespect

Why Marijuana Makes Things Funnier, Medically Speaking

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 16:57:29 -0700

Why Marijuana Makes Things Funnier, Medically Speaking:

splitsider:

Jim Hamblin, MD gets scientific in our first feature in Stoner Week, explaining just why smoking that bowl made Wet Hot American Summer twice as funny:

When you smoke pot, THC gets absorbed into your blood and then squeezes into your brain where it binds to cannabinoid receptors (that’s seriously what they’re called — for a long time we didn’t know of anything else that bound to these receptors, so they were named for cannabis. “Why does our brain have receptors for THC (a chemical that the human body does not produce)? Why would that evolve? Were we so destined to discover smoking marijuana?”) Anyway, THC binds to the cannabinoid receptors, thereby activating the mesolimbic system and causing your brain to release dopamine and endorphins — the same end result as when you exercise or fall in love or see a bird that’s been on your list for a long time. And you don’t even have to go running or even venture into society to get that feeling. All you need is be a laid-back dude, know a guy, and not be a narc.

The Art Of Coming Off Casual: The Saab Convertible – the unofficial car of the underemployed playboy.

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 15:41:00 -0800

The Art Of Coming Off Casual: The Saab Convertible – the unofficial car of the underemployed playboy.

Being casual as hell takes kinda a lot of work but, as this is a blog exploring the nature of handling ALL things in a laid-back fashion, it’s important to explore the unique challenge of coming off as a casual-ass killah behind the wheel. Enter the Saab convertible.

There may be more conventional assessments of what the casual connoisseur drives — VW bus, pontoon plane, etc — but, as a matter of fact, a real laid-back cat probably fell into his car. No money down, no payments later, and occasional trips with mom to the outlet malls notwithstanding. (No biggie, mom is tight and springs for smoothies.)

The Saab convertible is NOT cool. Its biggest credit to date is Seinfeld driving one on “Seinfeld,” and let’s be real people, he was about as uptight as they come and so are most of the people who buy these things; but as the tale often goes, these old geezers have little shit machines who grow up into first-class moochers who more than likely inherit the old man’s whip. What’s more laid-back than an upper-middle-class kid (often a caddy) driving daddy’s car? Nothing. I went to school with a bazillion of these yuck-yucks and their only worry is if that 17-year-old chick they boned is pregna— ohhhhhhhhh. (It’s starting to make sense why Seinfeld drove one.)

Not convinced? Look at the above picture. I found this shit on Facebook — profile pic, son. This. Is. Their. Vibe. This is what these people do! They blow-dry their hair, go to the beach and look North. WHAT COULD BE OVER THERE?!?!?! A bounce house is my guess, maybe some ne’er-do-wells, not that these jerks are gonna do anything about it. But look how calm, look how cool! These people look like they’re trying to sell us on the idea of white people. Not to mention, the lady is driving — that guy hates work so much he’s eschewed traditional gender roles and lets his lady drive … I can sure dig that, casual as all get out.

So if you’re a guy/gal who wants the vibe of someone with shit-all else going on, snatch up one of these little charmers and send a clear message: “I don’t keep a calendar, my cup holders are sticky and I’m missing a floor mat.” And, of course, if you want to crank your mellow vibe up a notch, throw on a visor with a golf